he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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