Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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