So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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