nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
