respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
