see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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