Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize