It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize