just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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