An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
