His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
