don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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