4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
