My liver just broke up with me...
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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