Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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