His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
