One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
