Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
