i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
