Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
