Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
