do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
