i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
