it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
