LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
