Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize