OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
