I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
