Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
