I heard we made out
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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