I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
