The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
