You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
We left an ass print on the piano.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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