just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
