I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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