I molested 6 butterflies tonight
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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