oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
