Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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