remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
So squirting runs in the family.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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