you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
