**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
whose parrot is this?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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