Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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