He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
i need to put some appletini on your dick
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
