Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
