If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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