TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
