Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
