I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
