Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Randomize
