There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
