im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I want her autograph on my taint
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
