I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
