First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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