I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I would ride that face into the sunset
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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