plz talk dirty to me
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
