On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Randomize
