Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
