He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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