I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
