Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
