Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
