so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Yo dont text me then not text me
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
In America we eat man semen.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I fill condoms, not promises.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize