i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
