dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
