i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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