you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
