we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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