the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
How external is "for external use only"?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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