NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Randomize
