You're completely useless in the revolution.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
