A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize