I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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