We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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